News from HQ
Six months in...embracing the unexpected and finding my 'thing' (or not)
Six months of Womaning Wisely, 28 articles published, and much to reflect on.
I described the humble surroundings of ‘HQ’ in the three month review. This time I write instead from my kitchen table, at 4.30am. I was awoken by a dream in which my kids’ school was on fire and they weren’t all accounted for. I haven’t had chance to reflect on that one yet, but I knew I wasn’t getting back to sleep.
Early mornings with a giant cup of tea are the best time for reflecting and writing anyway. And the quarterly review needs reflection!
Embracing the unexpected
I started Womaning Wisely as an experiment without agenda or ambition. I feel a lot of gratitude for the many things that enable me to do it - what a privilege to do something just because you want to and not for a reason. And what a life lesson in letting go. The positive things that come to mind as I pause now, are not things I would have thought to chase.
Don’t be in a rush to figure everything out. Embrace the process. Embrace the infinite possibilities of the unknown. And let your life surprise you.
Subscriber numbers continue to grow at 2-3 a week, and the number of you choosing to support me and this project with a paid subscription has doubled. I find a lot of words, but I really struggle to express how incredibly touched I am by this.
In January I was asked to run an online session for Mother Fit members on life purpose, visioning, and motivation. Cue a bout of imposter syndrome due to being positioned as ‘an expert’. But I did it, because the philosophy of this project was to see where it takes me. I think the workshop went ok. I got some really positive feedback anyway. And one of the ladies who attended has asked if I’ll lead a session with a community of creatives she has set up. I’ve said, ‘yes’, and decided that preparing for it is a problem for Future Jo.
I don’t know what the definition of ‘going viral’ is, but the article I wrote with Megan on autistic masking spread way beyond my usual network. I shared it on LinkedIn and it was reposted over 30 times. It was picked up by The Autistic Girls Network and republished on their blog, and shared by them on Facebook. The original version on Substack has been viewed 1.4k times. A typical article gets 140-200 views. There are two great things about this.
1 - a number of people have said it’s really helped them understand the children in their lives and their struggles. Kudos to Megan for articulating her experiences so clearly and being a voice for others.
2 - I’ve connected with numerous people doing amazing work in the neurodiversity space, and my LinkedIn feed has shifted as a result. This deepens my understanding and extends our personal support network.
These are all ‘good things’, and so give me the motivation and resolve to continue in the same vein. To embrace the process and the unknown.
The downside of a ‘portfolio career’
In January, I started working two days a week (haha, in theory) for Deri’s business. He founded it about 6 years ago, and it’s growing. They run training courses for consultants and support boutique consultancy firms with their people development. I’ve always held a non-exec / advisory role, but I’ve now been appointed Marketing Director. I’ve therefore been developing a marketing strategy, creating new brand guidelines, managing 3 key LinkedIn profiles, and writing their newsletters and blog. I moved the blog to Substack in fact, where it’s now settling in under a new moniker, The Skilled Consultant. I think the ‘reflections on working with/for your husband’ will follow in article of their own!
I also run an AirBnb. We have a treasured cottage on the coast in Norfolk1. We visit for a weekend about once a month, and for longer in school holidays. And the rest of the time we let it. This creates an inevitable level of admin and management. However, it means we can not only afford to keep it, but we make some money too. So, I’ve come to see this as part of my ‘work portfolio’.
We’ve recently been matched with a new family in our capacity as Shared Carers. The boy is a similar age to my twins and he has Down’s Syndrome. They all had a blast together on the trampoline during his introductory visit and the process is going well. We do this in a volunteer capacity, and I have two motivations for it. Firstly, you hear a lot of people say, ‘It takes a village’ and they are right. If you are in a position to support the village in some way, then I believe you should. Secondly, I worked for a time in a residential home run by Mencap, and I saw first-hand that many adults are fearful of people with special needs or disabilities. Fear stems from ignorance, and I don’t want my children to grow up ignorant on this front.
I also want to keep writing here (see above!). I’m enjoying being a netball coach for my daughter’s team. And I want to do my job as a mum, as defined in the way that is right for me and our family.
All of this is to say, I really hate it when people ask me at social things, ‘What do you do?’. Partly because they don’t want an answer this long, and partly because I struggle to own any of the labels. Can I call myself a Marketing Director? It’s a bit grandiose given the situation. Can I call myself a Writer? I mean, I write…but that doesn’t make me a Writer. And I don’t talk about Shared Care because it feels like virtue-signalling.
I was 42 this month. There’s a part of me that’s disappointed that I don’t have it all figured out, or that I didn’t stick with one thing long enough to have become a proper expert. This, I think, is the result of being both heart-led and fairly tolerant of risk. I hold a hope that, through these explorations, I will find my thing. But just recently I faced into the real possibility that I may not. Ever.
I was walking on the beach alone, surveying the array of pebbles that had washed up on the shore. I picked one up that fitted quite neatly in my hand. A good fit, but not perfect. ‘Somewhere on this beach’, I thought, ‘there will be a pebble that fits better. Perhaps one that fits perfectly. But how hard should I look for it, when I may never find it, and this one is pretty good’.
Ah yes, the podcast…
I said I was going to do a podcast. I have lined up 8 amazing women who have said they will be on it. But, I haven’t managed to work out the technical side of actually creating a podcast. To be clear, I haven’t tried to work it out, because I haven’t found the headspace.
Adulthood is saying, “But after this week things will slow down a bit”
over and over until you die.
So yes, I am still planning to do it. But next week, when things calm down….
I may as well take the opportunity to market the cottage. Have a look here on AirBnb if you fancy a trip to the east Norfolk coast. It sleeps 8, is fab for kids, and is really close to the most beautiful beach in Gorleston-on-Sea.