Flutter your feminist wings with me...
My top microfeminist ideas that might make a difference (and are quite fun!)
Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?
Possibly, according to meteorologist Edward Lorenz who discovered that tiny changes in initial weather conditions could lead to vastly different outcomes elsewhere. I suspect, sadly for Lorenz, that people are less enraptured by his weather prediction models than the concept that seemingly insignificant actions or events can have far-reaching and unpredictable consequences.
And so it was that the ‘butterfly effect’ came to mind when I recently discovered microfeminism. Apparently, it’s trending on TikTok but I don’t go on there, so I must have read about it somewhere else.
Microfeminism is premised on an awareness of the small, everyday interactions and behaviours that contribute to gender bias and inequality. This may be language use, body language, social norms, or small acts of sexism or discrimination. Each may seem trivial individually but collectively they can contribute to a culture of inequality.
Gender inequality is serious stuff but, to be honest, I don’t have the band width for large-scale social activism. So, I’ve been having a go at being a microfeminist instead. It’s great! I feel like I’m nudging the dial in the right direction, and it’s actually quite fun.
If you fancy joining me in being a microfeminist, here’s my favourite ideas of how…
When someone is talking about a person in a position of power, influence, or status, assume that person is a woman unless/until you are corrected.
“I had to go and see the surgeon about my knee operation.”
”What did she say?”
”It’s a he.”
”Oh sorry, I just assumed…”Similarly, when you are talking about animals (real or cartoon) with your kids, use female pronouns. Particularly for bugs and big or scary animals like sharks and dinosaurs. I’ve noticed how often I call them ‘he’. Like, always. I’m stopping that.
If you are writing emails or letters to a couple, put her name first. It’s surprising how little this happens. I had a go at this one when I made an album for my in-laws’ Golden Wedding…
Even better, if you are a lawyer or someone who creates official documents, put her name first. I’ve realised Deri’s name is first on everything. Our bank account, our mortgage, our house deeds. Let’s mix it up people.
Develop an awareness of language and how it’s used in a gendered way. Would you call a male ‘bossy’, ‘sassy’, or ‘pretty’? Try it out or, if not, perhaps don’t call a female those things either. I enjoyed this example I came across of switching language up to highlight its gendered use…
Just yesterday, a 50-something female coworker and I (also female and long done with menopause) received an email from a male coworker with the salutation, 'Hi, girls.' I responded with a simple but to the point, 'Thank you, boy’.
Buy birthday presents for kids that challenge the gender stereotypes. My daughter will always be given lots of arts and crafts things, but my boys tend to get STEM and construction toys. Don’t be suckered into that. Buy girls a bow and arrow, a bug hunt kit, or a logic/memory game. Buy boys a craft kit, some colouring pens, or a baking set.
If you want to schedule a playdate, message the dad. If you work at a school or nursery, call dad before you call mum.
When you are talking about sport, don’t only use the qualifier ‘women’s’.
Tonight, England are playing in the men’s football final.
I like the way microfeminism enables a point to be made without making it a big deal. A little nudge here, a gentle shove there, and bit by bit you might challenge a few people to think differently. I also like that these little actions are not anti-man. It’s not about pushing men down or supporting women over men for the sake of it. I want my boys to thrive too (and I suspect that man-bashing feminism is fuel to the ever-more vocal tribe of misogynists that idolise the likes of Andrew Tate). Pitting one against the other does not feel like progress.
But imagine if a whole generation of girls grew up into a world which was a bit different. One where they didn’t feel like they were cutting through in their profession but they were expected to be there, where they weren’t always the ‘and’ in their relationships, and they didn’t shoulder all the mental load because the school might call dad instead. That’s something I’d like to work towards.
Want to flutter your feminist wings with me…?